This week has been a tough one, for many reasons but also a bit of reflective joy. It’s half term which is always a bit of a mad one when you have kids, but unfortunately uni doesn’t stop for half terms so that makes it extra hard, especially as a single parent.
Some mad searching a few weeks ago finally landed me upon a holiday club run on the other side of town so hastily booked it was. Worried about finding the place and how the kids would take to it were certainly top of my mind. I have only been driving for a little over a year so new places especially in a city full of big scary roundabouts, terrifies me.
We got there relatively unscathed and the kids loved it, so much the biggest didn’t want to leave! So the rest of the week went well and it got easier driving to and from as I got used to the route a little more each time. Crisis adverted.
Of course it was also valentines day this week, which is always a *joy* when you’re a singleton. No flowers or cards here just Chinese for one and some NowTV for me lol.
It does however mark just over a year since I left my abusive relationship and the journey I have had since. I have become stronger, wiser and starting to find myself again. It is really hard to come away from mental abuse, it has taken me a long time to trust my own thoughts again after being convinced by someone things are in your head and that you are in the wrong when you aren’t. To rebuild my life away from that place has taken time and is still an ongoing process. The best thing I did was move away from the area, closer to family and a proper support network. My mum is my world and I truly don’t know where I would be without her.
So yeah its been an up and down week, but I thought I would finish with another one of my old dug out poems from many moons ago. It’s simply called “words” and in some ways seems fitting.
Words are an expression of our deepest soul
A community in language, speaking our lives
A single word can lead to eternal happiness, or eternal pain
Words have the power to change lives,
As well as rebuild
Everything from a gentle lullaby to a torrent of abuse
All consist of the same base….Words
Nothing can compare to their power
Nothing can escape their will
And nothing can stop there being, a last…